SHUT UP AND PRAY
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be."
James 3:9-10
I don't know about you, but if you are anything like me, you are a bit of a loose cannon and have trouble staying quiet sometimes. I tend to lead with my emotions and always feel the need to say what I am thinking and feeling. If I try to hold it in I feel like I might explode. It's not that hard to stay quiet in public but when it comes to friends and family in private, the barn doors swing wide open and I suddenly have so much to say. I am a bit of an external processor and my relationships with my husband and my kids receive the brunt of this processing. I am also prone to reacting instead of responding. When my husband calls me out on my actions, I want to come back and defensively call him out on all of his junk. When I am the one that sees areas in my husband and kids lives that need improving, I tend to jump all over it and let them know how they can do better.
Reacting is when you give a response out of initial thoughts or emotions without thinking. Responding is when you pause and think about the situation and how you are going to reply before you actually say anything. I used to think that my reactions were something that I could not change. I later learned that you can train yourself to react and respond in certain ways. Just like anything else in life, you have to create a habit of responding the way that you wish to respond.
This is where the practice of "Shut up and pray" comes into play. I have in no way mastered this yet but am learning just how different life will turn out when you choose this method. When someone is angrily yelling at you and expressing how annoyed they are with you or how many flaws you have......shut up and pray. When your kids are screaming and fighting and you have already disciplined them with no positive results and your are ready to scream at them.......shut up and pray. When your husband didn't clean up his mess yet again and you have to add that to your already long to-do list and are ready to give him a piece of your mind.....shut up and pray.
The results when you shut up and pray can be drastically different than reacting out of initial emotion. I'm not saying you never address the issues or share what you are feeling, but if you stop and do this first, I think you will find that how you handle the situation looks quite different. When you stop and take any amount of time (even just a moment) and pray about how you should respond, things begin to look different. When you pray for the person you have to deal with and you bring the situation before the Lord, He takes off His glasses and puts them on you so you can view the situation or the person the way that He does. When you see people and situations His way you are able to look outside of your emotions to the bigger picture. You have more empathy and understanding about what the person is feeling or how they view things. It is hard to be angry at someone that you pray for.
Now, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I have successfully done this without acting out of my emotions in someway. I say this to let you know, no one is perfect and it is definitely a process. Try to keep moving forward. Habits are formed out of practice and repetition. If you initially react poorly, catch yourself, stop yourself, and get back on track. You can always redirect. It is never too late. Never give up. It may take others some time to see your efforts or progress but I believe when you keep trying you will eventually see improvement in yourself and in your relationships with others.
